Different Views
by UbEr-BaD-jUjU
Summary: Another Edward leaves Bella gets turned story, but what if Bella doesn't follow the Cullens rules? Chalk Full of New Moon Spoilers R&R please
1. Old friends

**A/N- I know this has been done but i just couldnt continue without giving it my own try**. My first twilight/ new moon fan fic please review

**This is just a prequel i will make longer chapters later if this gets a positive respons**

**Warning New Moon Spoilers**

**This takes plase right after Bella finds Laurent in the woods in New Moon  
**

**Disclimer: You could sue me but what fun would that be? **

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The last time I had seen a vampire it had been breaking my heart and leaving me in a forest to drown in my empty heart, so I couldn't help but be a little anxious when I recognized the white marble color of another vampires skin. 

"Laurent!" I almost yelped in recognition.

"Bella…" Laurent said anxiously looking around himself.

"Did you come to see the Cullens" I asked, their name only burning a little, with me not even thinking for a second that I could be in a dangerous situation.

Looking around once more Laurent responded "Actually I came to see you."

Finally realizing that this situation may not be the safest I tried to back track and started walking away slowly, knowing that it wouldn't do any good in the long, or short, run.

"But now that you mention it… are the Cullens still here, I can't seem to smell them anywhere." He said sounding like he already knew the answer and was happy about it.

"Umm…"

"That's what I though," Laurent said smoothly and with grace, that I still envied even in this situation, he came towards me only leaving six inches in between us. "Which makes things much more convenient but a little less fun." he sighed.

Already knowing the answer but wanting to stall just hoping something would get me out of this "Makes what less fun?" I asked it just barley croaking off of my tongue.

"I am so hungry Bella, you understand." He said soothingly, and with that he leaned in towards my neck at a painfully slow pace, I should have at least tried to run but I was somehow mesmerized by the whole thing.

"Wait!" I said just as his mouth grazed the nip of my neck, he didn't pull away as I spoke to him, but he didn't continue either. "Turn me?" I asked weakly in one last literally dieing effort.

This did cause him to pull back "You want me to turn you into a vampire?" He asked almost sounding disgusted.

"Please?" I almost begged.

"Why should I do that for you?" He scoffed but he didn't sound completely against the idea.

"I'll stay with you. I'll do anything you ask." I knew that this was a futile lie just trying to remain alive but I continued on making promises. "I'll do _anything_ you ask, please just let me be immortal." I begged.

"Well if you insist, but I will be holding you to your word." As soon as he said it I knew that I would be, even if I didn't want to. I could only watch in sick fascination as he sank his teeth into my neck, and if I thought that hurt then I had forgotten about the searing burning sensation I was about to endure. He pulled away and whispered in my ear " This you will do alone, but I will be back so don't try to escape" His voice getting more and more faded as the pain started coming, until I had fallen to the ground in pain. I let out an ear piercing scream but I knew no one would hear me. I continued to scream until the pain became too great and I could only whimper on the ground. I remained like that for what I believe to have been two and a half days.

I was finally struggling to get to my feet when Laurent appeared as if out of nowhere. "Wow." He said when he looked at me.

I wasn't coherent enough to know what he was ooing an awing about though, I was still in a lot of pain and I had an over whelming need to eat. I stared at him dizzily.

"Ah yes as I thought." He said, and then as if out of no where he pulled a limp body out from behind the tree he was leaning on. "Sorry, I got a little hungry on the way here."

Without knowing what I was doing I let me senses take over and I dived at the body, already knowing exactly what to do. As soon as I was finished I felt ten times better, and with a quip wipe with my sleeve I cleaned my mouth off.

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**Do I countinue only your reviews will tell me... **


	2. New found gifts

**A/N Thank you so much for the reviews PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE keep it up, i will ove you forever.**

**All mistakes are my own seeing as i dont have a beta ( wink wink nudge nudge)**

**Disclaimer: Last night Stephanie Meyer came to my house and sold me the rights to Twilight and New Moon and right before i posted this chapter she demanded that i give them back to her...so i still dont own it so please dont sue. **

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That first drink of human blood was the most amazing thing I had ever tasted. My desire for more instantly overwhelmed me, so when Laurent said "Follow me." I didn't hesitate to comply, instantly knowing how to keep up with him at inhuman speeds. When Laurent suddenly stopped I didn't understand why, but I stopped next to him anyways.

"Breathe." He said.

It was then that I realized that I hadn't been, and the smell shocked me. We must have been near town because I could smell them all, all of the humans with their blood pulsing through them. I instantly wanted to race in a quench my thirst when Laurent held up his hand in front of me.

"Not so fast Isabella, there are a few rules that we must abide by, we have to be discreet, unlike how you did humans aren't supposed to know of our existence." The look of disappointment and hunger must have been clear on my face so he continued, " Don't worry though it is never to hard to find a meal." With that he gracefully beckoned me to follow him as he began to walk in the direction from which the smell was coming from. As we cleared the forest edge the 'down town' area of Forks became visible. It was about dusk, in that time where you can't see the sun or the moon but somehow there is light that filters the earth into a blue tint.

"Bella although you look much different we cant risk you being seen here so I will go find us something to tie us over, half a body isn't enough for anyone, especially a new vampire." He said, it was the first time I had been called a vampire but it didn't seem to have any effect but make me feel very very happy. When I looked up Laurent was gone.

As I was sitting there I began to think of Edward and the Cullens, to my dismay it still stung to think about them. I began to feel guilty when I thought about how they would look at what I was doing, but these thoughts were instantly forgotten when Laurent came back with a body already bleeding. I briefly recognized it to be Mrs. Newton, Mike's mom and my former employer, before I greedily sunk my teeth in and finished what Laurent had left for me.

"We have to go now." Laurent informed me as soon as I was done.

"What about the body?" My voice shocked me, I whipped a hand up to cover my mouth. How could that have been me, it was so smooth and musical, it was beautiful?

Laurent chuckled at my reaction, "You'll get used to it, but wait till you see yourself in a mirror." He said smugly taking a slightly too long glance at my body.

"We don't have to do much," He said in accordance to the question I had instantly forgotten when I heard my voice, "we just have to dump it far way from where it will be found quickly." He finished picking up the body, and we started running again. We ran for about fifteen minutes until Laurent stopped and nonchalantly put down the body, we stated off again.

As we were running I found my mind wandering back to the Cullens and I wondered how long it would take for then to hear about what happened, or what everyone in town would have thought to happen, or if they already knew because of Alice. I wondered if they would even care, Edward had made it perfectly clear that he didn't 'want' me anymore, so why should the rest of the family care either, they only wanted Edward happy. I also began to wonder what Laurent meant about the mirror, was it possible that me scrawny little Bella could have developed even a fraction of the beauty that all vampires seem to have? No, that couldn't have happened surely you had had to be even partially pretty for that to happen. I must still me the same ol me.

We must have been running for a while because when we stopped the moon was directly over above us in the sky. "Victoria will be meeting us here." Laurent said a little anxiously.

_Victoria? _That name still struck fear in me. " Victoria?" I asked out loud.

"Don't worry Bella she's not as scary as you think." Laurent's smooth voice tried to calm me, but I could hear the slightest trace of fear in his voice as well.

"I am not so sure about that Laurent." Another beautiful voice rang out behind me, I whipped around to face it. Victoria was standing right there, her fiery red heir waving gently in the wind in sharp contrast with her jet black irises. "How dare you do this?!" She yelled at Laurent. "You were just supposed to get the details of the area! _I _was supposed to be the one to kill her! But you didn't even do just that did you? Oh no! You gave her God Damned Immortality!" She screamed.

Even Laurent flinched at that berating. " I couldn't help it." He barely more than whispered back.

"You couldn't' help it?" She snapped. "How hard is it for you to just finish her off, if you were going to bite her anyways?" She was still yelling.

"She begged." Laurent now sounded like he was the one begging.

"I'll fix this." She said suddenly much calmer sounding, but no less scarily and then she launched herself at me.

Out of reflex I clenched my eyes shut and threw my hands up to protect my face. But nothing happened, I felt no impact of her body into mine, I couldn't hear my bones crush under hers, and I didn't smell any blood shed. I _did_ hear a yell of anguish coming from Victoria that still managed to sound beautiful even in all of its rage. I slowly opened my eyes, not lowering my hands from their protective position, and I saw Victoria fruitlessly hitting her pale fist against some sort of invisible wall about six inches away from me. Somewhere subconsciously I realized that it was me who was making this wall, and I didn't dare move in fear of it going away. I saw Laurent looking at me from the corner of my eye, he was staring at me with a look of surprised awe.

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**A/N that was it...now please review, the more reviews i get the faster i write! **


	3. Bloodlust

**A/N The reason why I didn't update sooner was because on the first story right away I got 7 reviews and that was great! So I rush and get another chapter up and then I get one…one review…I am not going to lie that was a bit of a downer. But then I get a review out of no where from someone the other day ( THANKS) and I decide to add on another chapter…PLEASE Gets on hands and knees begging If you read it review, even if you don't like it.**

**Anyways in this chapter I try to explain what happened at the end of the last chapter**

**Disclaimer: What would you do if I said I did own Twilight and New Moon?**

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_A bloodlust, it's all I trust  
No more boundaries to cross  
There is nothing uncommon  
Indifferent to the pain I've caused_

_-__Chimaira_

Victoria finally gave up her obviously futile attempts to get to me and stormed off with the same amount of grace she always had. After I could smell that she was far enough away, although the smelling thing was very intense I lowerd my arms and I assume that the invisible wall went away. Laurent didn't dare come up and say anything because I was quite disturbed at the moment. I spent my 'alone time' thinking. The only reason I thought that I could have this 'power' was because I had spent the last four months building walls. Keeping people away, not talking to them hiding in my room, I had even shut Charlie out, I had built so many of my own walls that it only made sense that I was able to do that while I was undead.

"Isabella?" Laurent finally mustered up enough bravery to approach me.

"What?" I snapped still angry at him for bring Victoria here.

"What was that?"

"My new power I guess." I said lightly making it sound like I didn't really care.

"interesting…"He mumbled

"What are you thinking about?" I asked cautiously.

"I think it is time that we left, unless you want to wait for Victoria?" He sarcastically added the last part.

"No! I think we should go now." I agreed, and we were off, again.

We ran for another three hours, and I was already hungry once more. Sensing what was wrong Laurent turned to me "Hungry?"

" I don't understand how I can be so hungry the Cullens only ate about every two weeks." I sighed.

"Those vile Cullens of yours haven't been running nearly as much as us, and animal blood isn't nearly as enticing as human blood so they don't have as much of a thirst, or at least they don't act on it." He smirked at the last part, "It is a pitiful life that they lead. I am getting hungry myself, would you like me to teach you how to hunt, it is really quite simple?"

"Please." I said almost maliciously.

"Follow me."

As I did what he said I could smell the humans that were coming, I practically tasted their blood in my mouth, and it was driving my crazy. It was dark out so Laurent and I were able to walk into town with out drawing a crowed. When we got to the center of the town it was almost too much, I wanted every single one of them and I was already drawing plans in my head on how I would get them.

"Not yet, we must get to a more isolated area, there are to many people here." Laurent held me back, and we continued to glide through town until we came to a small, much emptier area with only about five people milling about. "Now try to isolate their smells and find one that particularity appeals to you." He coached me.

I tried and I did, all of them smelt so good but their was one that for some reason smelt so much better, now I don't think he had nearly the same effect on me as I was to Edward, but he still smelt much better than the others. "That one." I said indicating my person sitting on a bench at a bus stop, he was wearing a base ball cap that shielded his face from me and a huge heavy trench coat so that I couldn't really see him but he still looked delicious.

"Ahhh, good choice." Laurent commented. " I'm going to get that one." He said indicating a young women who looked to be eighteen and very beautiful. "You're on your own, try to coax him into an empty area, I'll find you later"

I slowly walked over to the man hoping that Laurent was right about my new body and that I look as different as he implied, because the old Bella could never lure a man away like I wanted to right now. "Do you mind?" I asked as I sat down next to him.

"No, not at-" And then he looked up and saw my face he couldn't hold back the gasp that escaped his lips.

I tried to smile cutely and not just murder him right here "I'm Bella." I stuck out my hand in leaned in closer, hopefully this man was as much as a bastard as all other men and would take the bait.

"Ed." He said taking my hand, that stung a bit, why did his name have to be so close to _his_? But as soon as his hand met mine and I felt his warmth and I could feel his pulse going through his hand those distraught thoughts flew out of my mind to make room for these new blood thirsty ones.

"Ed, do you want to play a little game?" I asked trying to use my huskiest, sexiest voice.

"S- sure." Ed replied obviously thunderstruck.

"Come with me." I said still holding his hand and pulling him towards an empty ally. I briefly glanced over my shoulder and sure enough Laurent was doing the same thing. We reached the end of the deserted ally I turned to face Ed, " Are you ready?" I leaned in and whispered into his ear.

"Oh yeah." He whispered trying to sound somewhat as good as I did.

"Good." And then at that moment I let instinct take over and I instantly knew exactly what to do. I dove my head in and gave him a quick but deep kiss on the lips and then slowly lowed my head to his neck and bit in, he never had a chance to scream. It was one of the most exhilarating things I had ever put into my mouth, better than the last two's blood and there was so much more of it.

Once I was finished I dumped his now drained body into a near by dumpster. At that moment I knew that I would never be able to live by the Cullen's rules, and I couldn't fathom on how anybody else could. Humans tasted so good, there was no way that animals could taste nearly this good. The bloodlust in me ran too deep.

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**A/N TA DA! Like I said please review! Suggestions welcomed!**


	4. Self Image

**A/N: HELLO! Sorry for the long time it took to update, in the last two weeks both of my remaining grandparents died. But anyway…on this chap she sees her new self but her thoughts on her old self are _her_ thoughts, I do not think that of Stephanie Meyer's Bella, I think she is B-E-A-UTIFUL.**

**This chapter is a little shorter than normal but i thought it was an appropriat place to stop... **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything and I am not making any money off of this, but if someone would like to pay me…**

**Anyways ON WITH IT!  
**

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It had been three weeks by now and I had wanted to go into town and buy some new clothes, a girl can only wear the same thing for so long, and maybe get a bite to eat. Laurent however was not really the shopping kind of person and did not want to come with me, so he sent me off with a pocket full of cash, a meeting spot, and a promise on my half that I wouldn't do anything stupid.

We had traveled quite a ways and had ended up in Texas near the capitol, Austin. By the time I got into town the sky had long gone down and I didn't have to worry about the Texas sun exposing me for what I really was. I needed to find a street that sold decent clothes at such a late time and to my great luck I found Guadeloupe Street that was lit up and seemed to be quite a scene. It was crowded and it didn't look like any of the shops were ready to close yet.

I stepped into one that had about twenty finely dressed mannequins and only a few actual racks of clothes, but all of the clothes seemed to fall into the same genre; black, exposing, and sexy, just what I was feeling like buying. It seemed though that although there was a large crowd outside, none of it had trickled into the store and it was just me and the saleslady who was intently not helping me and listening to her iPod. I flipped though the shelves looking for anything that caught my eyes. I pick up a few low cut blouses and skirts and even a few tight slacks and entered a dressing stall. As soon as I shut the door I dropped all of my clothes in shock. Whoever said Vampire didn't show up in mirrors was completely wrong because there I stood looking at what could only be me staring right back at me in the mirror.

What I saw shocked me. I had the same brown hair but it somehow looked fuller and the waves and curls in it were much more obvious. My skin was no longer the plain dear I say ugly pale that I used to be but it resembled the same beautiful white marble color that the other vampires all seemed to have. I also had the same dark purple rings around my eyes. MY EYES! They were a deep red almost identical to the color of blood. My body had also been 'enhanced', giving my once iron board flat body a curvy, dear I say, sexy hour glass shape. And my lips were slightly larger and seemed to have been permanently stained a deep red that contrasted sharply against my new skin tone. After getting over the shock of discovering my new body I exited my stall in search for some different clothes, who said going up a size was _always_ a bad thing.

As for the bite to eat that I had also wanted to get while I was here, I killed two birds with one stone by enjoying the slightly sweet blood of the store lady and not having to pay for the bags and bags of clothes I had purchased.

After taking care of my needs I headed back to the meeting spot that me and Laurent had set up. When I got there Laurent also got to appreciate my new outfits, "Ahh Bella, I see you finally saw your new self." He said his eyes greedily grazing all over my body, and slowly walking closer to me.

I knew what was about to happen, but I can't say I was completely against it. I knew that I would never have Edward again and if I was going to spend so much time with Laurent it only made sense that we became more than just traveling buddies. I also knew that he would never mean the same to me as Edward did, but I didn't want to be alone for the rest of existence.

I also took a step closer to Laurent so that we were standing only mere inches away from each other, "That I did." I barely more than breathed. "Do you like me new out fit?" I playfully asked leaning my head in a little bit so that I was speaking onto his neck.

He grabbed my chin and pulled my face close to his in a gentle yet authoritative way, "I sure do Isabella" and with that he leaned in the last inch and kissed me. It was more powerful than anything that I had had with Edward because neither of had to hold back, so neither of us did.

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**A/N: As always PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW…and have no fear eventually she will 'bump' into the Cullens but I have to set everything up for that first.**


	5. The past is in the past? Yeah right

**A/N- a shorter chapter sorry, but you will be excited for the next...or at least i hope you will. Sorry if this chappie is a little confusing i am writing it with a 103.2 fever...**

**Please Please Please review again, I love you guys your the best readers ever!**

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Laurent's and my relationship had grown physically, but not mentally. I followed him around, not because I felt I had to, but because I knew it made him feel important. I thought that as long as he thought that I worshipped him then I wouldn't have I wouldn't have to worry about him being suspicious of me, not that I had anything to be suspicious about, but maybe one day I would, so I kept the act up.

"Good morning" I said as Laurent returned from wherever he had been the night before.

"Well someone's in a good mood." He walked over to me and I gave him a short pouty kiss.

"You don't know why, do you? I whined.

"Umm honestly I have no idea, but please do inform me." He said leaning in for another brief graze of my lips.

"It's my sixth month anniversary!" I squealed.

"Your what?"

"My what?" I mimicked shock at his forgetfulness "Six moths ago today, you turned me!"

"Ahh yes, I do believe you are correct" He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer, then whispering in my ear added "I think we should celebrate."

That is when I stepped away. I didn't want to do _that _with him. In my head I knew that some part of me still wanted to wait for Edward, even though I knew that he didn't want me anymore, and especially wouldn't want me now that in his eyes I would be a monster. I still wasn't willing to do that with Laurent.

"Bella please, he doesn't want you" Laurent cooed holding my shoulders.

Those words stung. I had made it velar that the Cullens were not a topic to be discussed and until now he had done well with that rule, and that was the first time I had heard their names out loud in a long time, and to my dismay it still burned. 'Well maybe, I don't want you!" I yelled and ran off.

I ran for a long time until I came to a river, and I just sat down. Had I been able to I probably would have cried. How dare he speak to that name! What nerve. I sat there for a long time, I am not sure quite how long, but at least half a day before I smelt it. I am not sure how I did but I knew that the Cullens were about 20 miles south. So I ran north, faster that I ever thought I possible. I couldn't let them see me like this, like this monster that I had become. But I couldn't give this up. I love this life; I have never felt more alive than how I do now. It's all so fun. It wouldn't be fair to take this away from me! And they will! That is exactly what they'll do. They will try and tame me. How dare them! I love this life! They can't just come in here and change everything. It figures that just as I start to get over him he comes back. He just likes playing with me. I am his pathetic little human toy. Well, that is gone, now I am a vampire and I love it! I have never felt so great, so powerful. So of coarse he domes back, he can't let me be more powerful than him.

"Laurent!" I yelled getting back to our camp.

"Bella! You returned, I knew there was some sense in you."

"No, Laurent we have to go! Start the car!" I was yelling.

"What? Why?"

"Can't you smell them" I sounded desperate, I needed him to go faster.

"No! What? Who?"

"The Cullens! Hurray start the car!"

If I thought that I had moved fast I was mistaken, Laurent shot through the camp to the other side and started the car. I quickly grabbed the few things that we had and we peeled out.

"Wow, and I thought I was afraid of them." I said raising my eyebrows, regarding his speedy exit.

"What you thought I would want to see them?" his voice was a little lower than necessary, sounding like he was trying not to lose it, " I turned you into a vampire! The reason why he left was because he was afraid of this happening! They have a huge pack they would have killed me!" He was yelling now. "So no, sorry, I didn't want to stay and have a chat with them!"

"Okay. Gosh calm down." We were driving around 170 miles an hour and in complete silence, I couldn't believe that they found me. And that smell. I love that smell, I missed that smell, I wanted to run to that smell. Could they have been coming for me? Or was it just by chance that we crossed paths? They can't find me! I need this, I love him, but I love the taste.

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**A/N-PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW MAYBE IT WILL MAKE ME FEEL ALL BETTER! PWEASE?**


	6. Reunion

**A/N Ya'll I am sooooo sorry this tuok so long, i have had mono and it was my birthday, I have had practically no time and i have been absolutly exhausted! If you read this chapter and it seems that i can actually speak English, that would be because i now have the most wonderful FishFriend to beta for me now (obviously not this part up here).**

**Please review and tomarrow i have detention so maybe i will be able to update quickly if your reviews give me motivation ( wink wink)**

**Disclaimer: If I owned it, I wouldnt be spending my time on this piece of crap computer!**

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"What are we going to do?" I asked nervously. 

"I don't know, but they are defiantly following us, and we are running out of gas." He grimly informed me.

"Okay…we'll ditch the car and run through the forest." I decided to take charge, "How far behind us are they?"

"Forty miles and catching up, we lost them for a little while when we drove through that neighborhood."

"Okay as soon as there is an opportunity peel off the road so we can make a run for it."

"How bout now?" He said swerving off the road and for about forty-five seconds we were swerving through the tress, enough to slightly conceal the car if not for the tire tracks, before the forest got to thick and we hit a tree.

"Shit! What the hell was that?" I demanded flabbergasted at his abrupt decision.

'It's called quick thinking Isabella, now lets get going, they're getting closer by the second!" We took off running.

Running

was second nature to me now, I might even say that I enjoyed it; the adrenaline that pumped through me, the flash as the trees and branches swiftly passed by me, missing me by mere inches. Laurent and I ran and ran like that for at least an hour until we were brashly and abruptly stopped by the ever mamouth Atlantic Ocean.

"Laurent!" I exclaimed as I looked around us, we had run out onto a point, and with the size of their family, I knew that they would be coming from all directions, and now we were trapped.

"Isabella," he sighed "come here"

I ran and stood behind him. "I don't think that I can see them again!" I was going into hysterics. I started to pull on Laurent's shirt, "Please! We can swim! We have to swim!" I started to run towards the water.

He ran after me and grabbed me by my blouse, spun me around and looked me squarely in the eyes, "Bella, my dearest Bella, where in the world would we swim to? No, we must confront them, because they'll catch up to us at some point. Besides, _you _have nothing to worry about. They wouldn't hurt you, and even if they tried to, with that power of yours, they couldn't lay a hand on you."

My power. I hadn't thought about it in so long. I wasn't even sure I would call it up again. I stood stock still, behind Laurent and listened and smelled. I knew when the were closing in now, fast. 50 miles, 30 miles, 20 miles, 10 miles away. At that I slammed my eyes shut and stopped, breathing while trying to concentrate solely on the sound of the ocean. I didn't think I could stand to have any contact with them. I knew I would run back to them as soon as possible, and I wasn't sure that was what I wanted to do.

But try as I might, I still heard Carlisle's voice "Bella?" it inquired.

If it was at all possible I tried to shove my body behind Laurent's even more, letting out a small whimper.

"Bella!" I heard Alice scream and she started to approach.

I heard Laurent growl and I shrunk back more. For now they wouldn't try to come any closer, I was certain.

I had kept my eyes shut and thought I might be able to make it until I heard _it. _The one voice that had been haunting me since the last time it had graced my ears, with its melodic sound, 'Oh God, Isabella." Edward gasped.

I slowly lifted my head up and turned to look at them, at _him_. I immediately wished I hadn't, as it stung so much, too much. These people, _these_ were the people that I had considered family. Then they had just left me. And they left to protect me from something that had happened anyway.

My heart felt like it had been ripped out of and I was watching it get stomped on. But there was also another completely different feeling that overpowered me as well. I rapaciously longed to run them, to hug them, to kiss_ him_. But I didn't, not yet, at least, I just held onto Laurent's shirt tighter.

One by one the other Cullens showed up. With each new arrival each feeling intensified, until I was practically depending upon Laurent to hold me up.

"Did you do this?" I heard Carlisle ask sounding relatively calm, but I was staring at Edward and him at me. I saw so many emotions in his eyes. Surprise, love, awe, as well as anger, disappointment and disgust, all of them that frightened me more and more.

"Only upon request." Laurent sounded calm, but I could detect the slightest hitch in his voice.

When Laurent said that a new feeling came over Edward's demeanor: hurt. I wanted to kill myself right there. I had caused my Edward pain. But no, he wasn't _my_ Edward anymore. I had promised him that I wouldn't do anything dangerous or reckless, and in his eyes, I knew this was both. I had blatantly ignored him and that resulted in my hurting him. I had never felt so guilty. I had to look away so that couldn't see his pain.

"Bella, oh Bella, I am so sorry we weren't there for you." Esme blurted out, "I know that the transition must have been so hard! And then every day, especially a 'new born' you must have found it excruciatingly difficult to resist the… urges."

When she said that I shot my eyes over to her. They had expected that I still followed their rules. Esme locked her eyes with mine and then she saw _it_. The deep red that my eyes were. She gasped "Bella!"

Then the whole Cullen family caught on and the mod changed brashly from the thoughtful diplomatic approach to a much more hostile one.

"Well what did you expect?! It was _I_ that changed her!" Laurent scoffed angrily, "I _don't_ have the same foolish beliefs that _you_ do."

"You sick…." Edward finally ground out, barely stopping the profanity "_You_ had no right. _You_ had no right to do this."

"Well it was either this or drink her dry. I must say that I have rather _enjoyed _her company." Laurent went to give me a kiss, but I turned my head so that it was just a peck on the cheek at the last moment. Laurent looked thwarted.

That was it, Edward lunged forward to attack us, or rather Laurent, and I threw my arms up and concentrated. I felt the power rise to the surface, and it worked. No sudden impact, _or _Edward running into my support beam, only a low and persistent growl.

"What is this?" Carlisle asked genuinely interested, not that he hadn't been before.

"As you've probably guessed, _this_ is Bella's little power." You could hear the smugness in Laurent's voice, as he rubbed my back to calm me down, I am sure he felt me shaking.

I finally looked back at Edward, hoping that I could handle his face this time, (and what I found wasn't much better, probably worse) there was only intense sadness left in his eyes. "Edward…" my voice cracked, "Please." I didn't know what I was asking for but I know that I just really, _really_ hoped he would say yes.

Alice out stretched her hand, as if asking me to take it and go with her, " Bella… please?" her happy demeanor was quickly fading, I wondered if she had seen something, something bad.

"Alice, I'm sorry… I can't." I was speaking to the whole group, and I knew that they wanted me to go with them. Hell, I even wanted to go with them, but I knew that I shouldn't. There was no way that I was going to be able to live by their ways.

"Yes you can, we can help you!" she said, obviously frustrated.

"No! I you can't!" I screamed, I wanted them to go, this was getting too hard. " I like the way my life is!" The whole family flinched; all accept Edward, who stood stock still. Laurent held me tighter.

"Bella, you have to try." Carlisle piped in, the careful calmness also contained some pleading, now. "You'll grow accustomed to it."

"I shouldn't have to!" I yelled, " Who are you kidding?!"

"Bella please, come." Edward, who's voice sounded defeated and weak, finally spoke up again. This broke my dead heart further.

"No Edward." I sounded weak too, I wanted to make him happy, but I knew what I had to do. "I'm a vampire. You are a vampire! We drink blood! It's what _we_ do!" My voice was raising, I had to get this across to him, to all of them. "When are you going to learn? You said it yourself, Edward, you're a monster! So live it up!"

"No Bella, you have it wrong. One chooses who they are, and you chose this." Carlisle ruled.

"No, you're wrong again." Laurent spoke up, and directed this to Edward, "_You_ chose this for her. _You_ gave _her _this life when you left her, it is _your_ fault that she is this way!"

With all if the shouting and emotion I had forgotten to keep the wall up, so there was nothing to stop Edward when he lunged into Laurent, whom I was holding on to, and I got thrown ten feet back onto the hard rocky shore with enough force to leave me down for a minute.

Laurent and Edward both rushed to my aid, both struggling to be the one to help me.

"Bella I'm so sorry!"

"See Isabella, see what _he _has already done to you?!"

"Shut up!"

"Isabella here, take my hand, and let's go."

"Please Bella come with us, you're part of _this _family, I am sorry! I never should have left! I thought I was making you safer! Believe me!"

I looked at both of their faces; Laurent who had given me this life, and the only one I could have this life with. Sure, I didn't love him the same way as Edward, but there's time. But then there was Edward my sweet Edward, who even though he doesn't love me or want me the same way he did, Edward was so set on keeping me from living the way I was. And even is he didn't love me in the same way I knew that the choice had already been made for me. "I'm sorry, Laurent, I owe you my life and so much more than I could ever give you, please, _please_ understand!" Edward took my hand and helped me. I turned to look at Carlisle and Emmett and sternly said "No harm is to come to Laurent, not now, not _ever_."

"Of course, Bella. We are all happy to have you back."

"Uh huh." I knew that it wasn't going to be as easy as they hoped.

With Edward holding my hand, probably to keep me from running away, we slowly walked away leaving a distraught Laurent in stunned silence. We looked like the family I had always wanted us to be, but I knew that we weren't.

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**A/N WOOT PLEASE REVIEW!**

**P.S. HAPPY SPRING BEAK!!!!!!! **


	7. Chastises and Chats

**A/N- Hiya party people! Thank you once again to my most fabulous awesome amazing beta FishFriend. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ AND REVIEW it keeps me alive!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue**

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We got to the multiple cars that were parked on the side of the road, a lot more gracefully than Laurent and mines, there the silver Volvo that I never thought I would see again, and two other much more flamboyant convertibles.

"Hold on**." **I meekly whispered, it was the first thing that had been said since we headed this way. I walked back to my old beat up car and pulled out a couple of things I would want, and a my bag of clothesIdragged my feet back to the awkward silence. "So, which car am I in?" I said into the silence.

"You'll be in the Volvo with me of course." Edward spoke up quicklytooquickly (in my opinion) if he knew that I had been with Laurent. He was stillstaring at me like I was one of the strangest things he had ever seen.

"Oh, Okay… justus?"

"There is room for everyone else in the other cars." He said looking over at his family as if saying, '_Don't_ you dare ask to come with us.'

I trudged over to the car and flopped my stuff in the back seat, and slid into shot gun, preparing myself for whatever was to come. Edward was almost instantly by my side and behind the wheel. He turned his head to look at me, and our eyes locked. Like I expected, it wasn't a look of love in his eyes, but of disgust and disappointment. I dropped my head so he wouldn't look at my blood red eyes anymore.

"I'm so sorry Bella." He sighedhad I not been a vampire I wouldn't have heard, and I wasn't sure I was supposed to, so I just looked out the window and watched the forest as he pulled away. In the corner of my eye Isaw Laurent. He was just standing there pitifullyand I turned awa**y**, deciding that safest place to look would just be my hands.

We rode like that for two hours. Ireally didn't have any idea where were going, until Edward spoke up, "I missed you." He was looking sternly out the front windshield. It had obviously taken a great deal of courage to speak up.

"Me too," I replied, then continued in a rush, "I mean, I missed _you_ as well. I didn't miss myself, that doesn't make any sense." I rambled on shrewdly

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward crack that crooked smile I loved so muchThat was when I realized just how much I had missed him. I wasn't sure how I was capable to handle not being with him, when I was so close to him, and I just wished Edward wanted _me _again.

"God, I wish I knew what you were thinking." He ran his hands through his hair. "That's one thing that hasn't changed.' He added looking over at me, I looked away, not wanting to see that look of repugnance again.

"I guess so." We were just sitting there and I really wanted to fill in the silence so I said something that wasn't exactly relevant at the moment, "So, Jacob Black is a… werewolf." I just spat it out.

"What?" Edward nearly spluttered, "I knew his family were _dogs_, but I didn't think that _he_ was." He sounded repulsed.

"Yeah well a lot happened after you left." I couldn't help myself, I was angry. I liked Jacob even though we could never see each other again.

"Bella," He spoke softly, "I am so sorry, I never would have left, this was the one thing I was trying to avoid."

"Don't be." I snapped, "I have lived more since then than I ever had before." I knew that that would sting. "And Victoria would have killed me anyways."

"Victoria?" Edward almost yelled, pausing to collect this information, "I thought I was leaving you safer." He said, slightly quieter after his outrage.

"Yeah well, you were wrong."

"I seem to be doing that a lot." Edward almost smiled, trying to lighten up the mood that surrounded us both.

I twisted around in my seat and reached into my bag and pulled out my cell phone, I briefly glanced at it, three missed calls, and threw it out the window hurriedly.

"What was that?" He looked at me in alarm.

"A phone."

"I know that! But why did you throw it out the window?"

"The only person who has that number is Laurent. Ididn't think you would appreciate it if I kept in touch with him." I said plainly.

His fingers gripped the steering wheel tighter and his knuckles went even whiter. "Oh."

"Oh." I repeated back, in a condescending way.

Edward turned to fully face meanger flashing in his eyes, "So,is this the way it is going to be now, Bella? Are you just going to hate me from now on? Is that how we are going to live?"

"I don't know, you're the one who doesn't love me anymore!" I didn't mean to let it out, I was just so aggravated! How dare he reprimand me for being rude _He_ was the one who left me in the middle of a freaking forest after announcing that he was leaving.

"Is that what this is about?" Edward looked almost relieved, and it enraged me that he was relived about _that_. "Bella, I _do_ love you, I have always loved you! I thought I was leaving to make you safer, please believe me! It was the hardest and the dumbest thing I have _ever_ done, and for it I am eternally sorry. Bella, please understand this! I do love you! I am here now, and I do. I should never have told you that, I knew it, but it was the only way to protect you. I am so sorry Bella. I love you, and I _always _will."

"Oh." Was my only response.

"Oh." He mimicked me, obviously payback from before

I turned to look at him, like he was looking at me a second ago. "Edward. Listen. I. Love. you."

Edward glanced at me with another smile that I loved, "So Laurent…?" he trailed off, a cloud of solemnity clouding his eyes.

I looked down at my hands ashamed.

"A means of survival."

And then all was quiet.

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**A/N- There you have it! Now if you loved it, or if you hated it, or if you just read it and have no feelings about it please review! Just press that little go button down there.**


	8. Mooses Moose or Meese

**A/N Thank you to me beta FishFriend. Please review i have been getting less and less and it demotivates me! **

**Disclaimer: I officially disclaim owning this **

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The Cullen's new house was beautiful-no that would be an understatement -it was overpowering. It was high up on a giant pink granite cliff edge over looking the east coast. They had relocated to a small island off the coast of Maine called Mount Dessert Island. It didn't necessarily rain too much, but it was always foggy up on the mountain where their house and school was located.

They had plenty of bedrooms, so it wasn't hard to find a place for me to stay, and I quickly found an unoccupied room that would suite me perfectly. It was on the third, and final, floor in the northwest corner and had a whole wall of windows over looking the Atlantic, not to mention it was at least two rooms away from anyone else's. It was already slightly furnished, with a navy blue futon and a formal cherry oak desk with a few knick-knacks on it, clearly a guest room, though for whom I didn't know.

I threw my one bag onto the floor and flopped down onto the surprisingly comfortable futon. I closed my eyes and almost instantly was assaulted be the image of Laurent's face, when we had driven away. I should have opened my eyes, but of coarse I didn't, I was transfixed by the hollow eyes of my former partner. I eventually opened my eyes when I heard a single knock on my door. He knocked only once but I knew Edward was there. When he had told me that he never actually stopped loving me it still couldn't quite fill the emptiness inside of me.

"Come in."

"Why are you in this room? There is a much better one right next to me." Edwardlooked strangely at me.

"Um… I liked this one. It's simple… and has a great view…" I looked out the window to avoid his gaze.

"And, it's the most secluded room in the house." He finished for me.

I looked back at Edward. He had a look of confusion as he observed me, I looked away again.

He came over and sat on the futon next to me, "I love you." Edward said it again.

"I love you." I didn't say 'too' because I wasn't sure if I believed him.

We sat there for a while until Edward turned to look at me with a crooked grin on his face, "Do you want to go for a walk?" He spoke softly as if he was afraid that if he spoke to loudly, I would shatter into a thousand pieces.

"Um…" I was hesitant.

"Oh come on Bella, it will be fun."

I knew it wouldn't but I stood up anyway.

"Good." He stood up as well. "I'll tell the others where we are going."

"Okay, I'll wait here, then."I knew I sounded shy. I couldn't help but wonder about what the others thought about the new me and lifestyle.

"No, Bella," Edward practically pleaded, "come with me. They want to see you too, we've all missed you, particularly Alice and Esme."

I nodded slightly and shuffled behind him. I could hear them, they were sitting in the living room trying to pretend they weren't thinking about me, I think I heard someone say something about cheese. When we reached the room, all eyes were on me. My eyes were on the floor and they stayed there while Edward told them the plan.

"Well, be safe." Esme gave us her approval of the plan.

"And have fun." Carlisle chimed in.

We went out the front door and Edward led me to a dirt walking path that seemed to lead into a tall forest, my feet stuttered and my knees almost gave in. I had hoped that Edward hadn't notice, but as usual, he did.

"Bella, what's the matter?"

"I don't think that I can go in there." My eyes were wide as a stared into the forest. Since I had become a vampire very few things had scared me, but as I stared into the looming woods the idea of going in there with Edward terrified me.

"Sure you can, what's the problem?"

"I-I'm afraid."

"Of what? Bella, I'll protect you."

That almost bugged me, I didn't need him to 'protect' me anymore, and I probably would have told him that if the fear wasn't so overpowering. "I'm afraid…of you."

"What?" He nearly roared, "I don't understand! I love you!"

"I'm afraid of you leaving me in there again." I was finding the dirt around my feet very interesting to look at.

He was softer this time, "What? Bella, I told you, I love youI wouldn't, nor could I, _ever_ leave you again." Edward made me look at him by raising my face with his long, slender fingers.

"Is there…isthere just another path we could take? Please?" I still didn't want to go in there.

"Sure," Edward sounded defeated, "We can walk along the road."

"Thanks."

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We had been walking for about thirty minutes when it happened. It was the worst possible thing that could have happened at that moment. A convertible with a bunch of teenagers coasted at low speed by us. The smell was so enticing and I was so hungry, I couldn't help myself, I lunged into a run at them.

"No! Bella!" Edward called as he ran after me.

He was able to grab me by the waist and stop me from getting at them. "No let me go!" I screamed, "They're getting away." He just grabbed me harder. "No, God Damn it let me go!"

"Shhhh, Bella" He coed into my ear, not letting his grip falter for a moment. "Shhh Bella, let them go. Bella, they're people, they are human beings, you can't just kill them."

"I'm so hungry." I pleaded.

"Well why didn't you just say so? Let's get the family and go hunting. They have 'meese' here." Edward added with a grin.

The idea of drinking an animal sounded anything but pleasing to me, repulsive, evenBut I was starving and I had no choice. Edward didn't let go of my waist as we walked back to the house.

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** A/N Please review and _maybe _you'll get an easter weekend update! I love you all ( but not in a freaky stalked way...)**


	9. Appreciation

**A/N Cant talk I am running way late, see what I go through to get this to you guys. Thanks to my Beta FishFriend as always...that was my authors note for whn i tried to updaye it last weekend, I went to this huge effort to get you guys my story rushing rushing rishing, then when I attempted to upload it fanfiction wouldn't let me, so ,sorry for the long wait I tried to get it up last weekend and i dont noramlly get a chance to update during the week.  
**

**Yall ROCK please please please please R&R**

**Disclaimer: don't own don't sue**

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Moose, bears, wildcats, the Cullens were all very thrilled at the idea of going hunting. Apparently they hadn't since they had gone off to find me, so we all went to the forest for a 'hunt'. 

I could smell what the Cullens were so eagerly awaiting to sink their teeth into and I wasn't nearly excited as they were. The animal smell reminded me of strange foreign food, you'll try it just for the experience but not really enjoy it. I was all about seduction and stealthily luring my prey away, making them _want _to come with me. There would be none of that here just brute force, rough, and unplanned hunting.

"Emmet why don't you show Bella how it is done?" Carlisle smiled thinking that I might enjoy it, as if it was a show.

"It'd be my pleasure." Emmet took a huge intake of breath and ran off south. I smelt it too; of course, he was going for a bear. Although I knew what it was going to be, I couldn't help but be surprised at the size of it as Emmet reemerge form the woods with a choke hold on a very angry, very large bear. The bear suddenly rolled over slamming Emmet into a tree with a deafening crack the tree surrendered and fell. Emmet, who had taken quite a beating, quickly and forcefully snapped the bears neck. Then, through the thick black fur, reached gigantic mammals neck and drank. I almost thought he was going to drain the whole thing, but eventually he pulled away and wiped his mouth on his for arm. I found the whole spectacle rather repulsive. What I did was sexy, where this was practically a new method of contraception.

"Who wants the rest?" Emmet asked, sounding surprisingly calm for what he just did.

"Bella?" Carlisle looked at me; "Would you like it?" all eyes were on me.

I most certainly did not, "Umm… no that is okay, I'm not that hungry."

"Yes you are. You told me were, and your eyes…"Edward trailed off; no doubt my eyes were a dark, deep shade of crimson.

"Yes well, I am experiencing a loss in appetite."

"Bella, please?" Edward looked at me; there was desperation written across his face. "It's good, trust me."

"I'm sorry I am just not hungry anymore." I stood there awkwardly as an even more awkward silence overtook the forest. I was starving; they all knew it, and I knew that they knew it, but I just _couldn't_ bring myself to do such a grotesque thing.

"Well what if you went back to the house, and after we were done here I brought you some blood from the bear?"

"Well…erm..." I still didn't want to drink it.

"I'll go home with you sweetie." Esme offered.

"Okay...I suppose I'll survive." I wanted to make them happy. I turned on my heel and headed toward the house.

I didn't want to talk, and I didn't know what to talk about; thankfully Esme seemed to understand and she didn't try to start a conversation, in fact she didn't say anything till we got back to the house.

"Is there anything I get you; for your room or something?" She was being so kind; I hated myself for what I knew I was going to do.

"No thanks. If you don't mind I think that I am just going to go read in my room; escape for a while." I hoped she would understand and fall for it.

"Okay dear, I'll be around if you need anything." Esme did, and I was green for my scheme.

I walked up to my room and from the outside shut the door; loud enough so I knew she heard and would think that I had gone into my room. I stood there and listened, she was in the dining room. That was good. Quietly, I was able to sneak out of the house and get to the garage where there was a barrage of many colored, beautiful cars. Letting the beauty sink in for a moment I went over to the obvious winner and jumped in. Running my hands over the car name sewed into the leather steering wheel. _Seleen_, I knew that the bright red car may have been conspicuous but I couldn't hold myself back, this thing was beautiful.

Coming back to my senses I started the engine with a satisfactory roar and pulled out of the huge garage. Easily steering my way around the curves of the mountain I watched the sun set over the east coast. Pushing 190, I reached the small town, Bar Harbor, in under fifteen minutes. As soon as I stepped out of the car the smells hit me, people, so many people. I was starving I wanted to drink every last one of them dry.

Sniffing out my target I found him, he smelt delicious more so than I had ever smelt before; I _needed_ him.

"Excuse me?" I smiled flirtatiously at him, "Do you have the time?"

He was obviously taken aback by me, "Uh yes mam', it is uh…" he fumbled to get his shirt sleeve up, "It's eight-thirty."

"Oh… I knew it." I tried to look defeated, "The bastard stood me up."

"That's absurd, I can't see anyone standing up such a beautiful lady as yourself." His confidence was growing, and so was my hunger.

"You're too kind." I smiled at him, " Look I know I we just met, but I don't want to have to explain to my room mate why I came home so soon, would you mind if I bought you a drink?"

"Of coarse not, but please, let me buy _you_ a drink."

""Oh no, I couldn't..."

"Please," He insisted, " I would love to get you a drink."

"Well if you don't mind, I know a lovely little bar down by the docks." This was to easy.

"I'll follow you, I'm David by the way."

"Isabella."

I slowly lead the way to the docks looking for any dark place that I could pull David into, his smell was getting to intense and I was starving. "Oh here, there is a shortcut between these to building." I grabbed his hand and playfully lead him to the dark alley. As soon as we passed a large garbage bin I threw him against the wall and kissed him.

"Oh is this how we want to do it?" He asked flirtatiously.

"Well if you really want to go get drinks…" I stared to pull away, mock pouting.

"No, no, no, I am fine with this. You just didn't see like the kind of girl."

"Well looks can be deceiving." I kissed him lightly right behind his ear and then right below that, then right below that, until I found the hem of his shirt.

"Isabella." He moaned.

"David." I simply stated his name and then dove in. He tasted to excellent gulp after gulp. Of course he tried to fight back; attempting to push me off with his arms, I threw the feeble things up above his head and held them there by his wrist. "Oh David, you don't know how much I appreciate this."

"But I do." His voice rang from the other side of the alley.

I let go of David and he fell to the ground , he was weak but he would be fine eventually.

"Edward."

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**A/N Please review, I try to update around every two weeks**


	10. Confrontations

**A/N I was sorry that i didnt get it up this weekend like i said i would so i struggeled to get it up today. I rewrote this chapter 3 times. Any suggestions welcome with open arms. Thanks FishFriend for the beta. As always please R&R  
**

**Disclaimer: If you think that I own anything other than this crappy computer you are sourly mistaken. **

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Briefly out of the corner I saw David crawl away. I longed to go after him, I longed to do a lot of things to get out of what was going to happen next.

"Leave him." Edward demanded. There was no room for argument in his voice.

"This isn't what it looks like." I knew that was stupid, but I didn't have a clue what to say.

"Really, Bella, then what is it?" His voice was hard, "If it wasn't what I know it was then you were cheating on me."

"Is that what it would be Edward, because I wasn't so sure we were a couple." I didn't want to talk about what he had just seen.

"What!?" It was almost a yell, "Of course we are, but we cant be if you keep pulling stunts like this."

"Edward you have no place to judge me, how many people did you kill huh? And you could hear their thoughts as you did it. You're the sick one, you're the one that needs help." I spat at him, my anger getting the best of me.

"I got that help from the Carlisle, which is what we are _trying_ to do with you." He had walked up to me and he put his hands on my shoulders, forcing me to look him in the face.

"You make it sound like am some sort of experiment, lets poke her here and do this and see what happens." I said with venom in my words, " I should have stayed with Laurent."

Edward's hands dropped from my shoulders, "I am going back to the house, you're welcome to come with me or on your own time; however, you will not be allowed in if you aren't willing our way of living." With that Edward walked away with his head down. I walked the other direction.

I passed a still struggling David on my way; he shuddered back as I passed him: I merely glared at him, daring him to tell someone about me. I needed to be alone. I walked over to the park, which had grass all the way to the edge, where there was a stone wall that dropped off into the ocean. I sat there, my legs mere dangling feet over the water. I breathed in the scent of the salt water and let the air caress my face. It was a nice night; the sky was clear allowing a full moon to shine over the ocean, and bounce back reflecting in a beautiful way. I could have sat there all night, but I should have remembered that bad things happen when I am near water. I felt the looming presence of someone standing right behind me. With one sniff I knew who it was, and a shudder of some unrecognizable emotion ran through me mentally.

"Hello my Isabella." Laurent cooed.

"Laurent, how- how did you find me?" I asked, why was this happening to me? Why was my night going so horribly? Why couldn't karma just _leave me alone _for a day?

"Oh I know your scent very well it didn't take me that long to find it." He was eerily calm.

"What do you want?" I wasn't sure I really wanted the answer to that.

"I just a have a few things I want to sort out before I go, why don't you come with me somewhere more…" He searched for the word "secluded."

"That's not going to happen Laurent if you want to talk to me it is going to happen right here." My voice was steady but I was growing more and more uneasy.

"Isabella." He said laughing like a condescending mother, "Do you really want to cause a scene and once again make your lovely Cullens move all over again. Don't you think that you have caused them enough damage?" his words cut me like sharp knives, and my temper flared.

I jumped up and stepped away from him "Just because your jealous that I never fell for you the way I did for them does not give you the right to speak to me that way!"

He walked right up to me, "I am starting to greatly regret ever letting you live." Laurent was seething.

"I am starting to regret ever living with you."

_Slap._

He hit me hard a across the face harder than a heavy weight human could have punched, I could feel the bruise start to form.

_Slap._

This time it was I who was doing the slapping. "Don't. You. Ever. Lay. A. Finger. On. Me. Again." Every word sounded like its own sentence.

Out of nowhere, Laurent lunged at me, his mouth crashing into mine, and before I knew what was happening he was kissing me, hard and passionately, like we had before. Edward and I still hadn't kissed like this. Without realizing what I was doing I kissed back. He pulled at my bottom lip with his tooth drawing blood. Then I pulled back.

"What-what are you doing?" I barely had a voice.

He slowly and menacingly wrapped his fingers around my throat; squeezing them tightly. I didn't need to breath but I could feel the pressure he was putting on my trachea, probably leaving another bruise. No one would notice what was going on it was so dark. He lifted me off the ground with his grip on my throat and whispered in my ear, "When you wake up and notice that what you have is no life at all, I'll be waiting." With that he let go and I fell to the ground in a crumpled ball, emotionally if not physically worn out. When I looked up he was no where to be seen, but I was sure that he was watching me from somewhere.

I ran to the Seleen and got in and slammed the door. I sat there my knuckles going white on the steering wheel I was squeezing it so tight. I looked in the mirror. My heavy eye makeup from before I went with the Cullens was smudged all around my eyes giving me a dangerous smoky look. My lips were full and pink. My skin was a beautiful pearl color, with a light purple bruise forming on my right cheek. I looked beautiful, minus the purple, and yet I felt to dirty. Slowly I turned the key, the engine roaring to life. I peeled out of the parking spot and sped my way back to the Cullens' house.

I snuck in the back door; trying to avoid confrontation, no doubt Edward had told them about what he had seen, and I thought I had made it until I opened my door and saw Edward sitting on my futon.

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**A/N- PLEASE PLEASE show me that updating on a weekday wasnt a mistake and review lots please!**


	11. Unspoken

**A/N- Sorry for the long update wait Finals ate my life. But now they are done and school is done and there is another chapter and all is good :) **

**You can give credit to FishFriend for this being readable!**

**Disclaimer: Ummmmmmm shhhh i dont want to alarm anyone but I do not own any of this...**

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"Edward." I barely more than breathed that name.

"Bella, you finally came." He sounded angry and disappointed like I should have come back right away.

"Look Edward I really don't want to do this right now. So _please _just leave me alone." I kept my head tilted to keep my hair in front of the bruise.

"No, we need to do this now." I kept my eyes to the floor.

"Bella look at me." Edward said sternly.

I raised my head slowly to keep my hair in place.

"What is there to say? I was weak, I couldn't stop myself, and I was to ashamed to come to you for help. There that seems to cover it all."

Then Edward did something I did not expect, he came over to me and enveloped me in a tight hug. I had not been shown such love since before he left and it was all to much for me to take. I jumped back and that was when he saw my face.

Edward scowled darkly and the emotion in his eyes quickly changed from loving to furious, "Who did that to you?!"

"It- it doesn't matter." I stuttered, "I already took care of it."

I saw him do it but I there was nothing I could do to stop him, with one sniff he knew who my attacker was. "Laurent." He said quietly, then his voice rose, "Where were you?"

"Edward, please this is pointless, I took care of it. " I repeated myself, for some reason I did not want to see Laurent get hurt. I knew that after today I didn't owe anything to him but I could not help the feeling in me to make sure he was not harmed.

"Where were you?" He repeated as if he hadn't even heard me. "Tell me you did not go to see him."

"No- no, or course not! I didn't! He found me." My voice was shaking, I was obviously upset about the encounter but Edward didn't seem to notice.

"Where?"

"Look Edward I don't see why this matters, okay? It's my problem. Not yours." I desperately wanted him to drop it.

"Isabella, where was Laurent?" Edward's voice was so cold it didn't sound like him.

"The town park." I said it monotone, no emotion. I was tired of emotion I just wanted to lie back and not think. Not think about anything. It was times like these when I longed to be some unintelligent animal that didn't care about anything and went purely off instincts. _Okay time to eat, time to mate, time to sleep, and then time to eat again. _

Edward was gone, I vacantly wondered if he was going to tell the others about what he was doing, or what he even was doing. Chances were rare that Laurent would have just stayed there waiting for someone to come, which he must of known would happen. I hoped Edward wouldn't go on a full on tracking game, I _needed_ him _here._ I _needed_ him to stay and support me.

I leaned against the wall and slowly sank down to fetal position.

I don't know how long I sat like that but eventually Esme came up to see how I was.

"Bella, sweetheart are you okay?"

I hadn't moved for what felt like eternity, when Esme spoke I spun my neck around so fast that it should have hurt.

"Huh? Oh yeah…erm not really, I just… I just need some time." I struggled to get the words out.

"Well you know that I am hear, if you ever wanted to talk right?" She was being so sweet, I felt guilty for not being able to talk to her, but how could I? Esme had no idea what I was going through; it would have been like a woman talking of childbirth to a man.

"Yes well, I am fine but I appreciate the offer." I politely let her know that I would not be coming to her anytime soon.

"Well okay. We are all downstairs picking out board games if you want to play." I could hear the disappointment in her voice.

"All?" Was Edward already back? Maybe he didn't go after Laurent.

"Yes. All of us, Edward would love for you to come down and play, we all would."

I snorted. Yeah…like that was likely. "Rosalie?"

"Oh Isabella I know that she can be a little," Esme hesitated looking for the right word, "…abrasive, but you just have to give her a chance to warm up to you and get used to the idea that there is another beauty in the house now." Esme has a small grin on her face as she pointed out some key character flaws of her 'daughter'. I hoped Rosalie or Emmett wasn't listening in.

I stood up and ran my hand down my shirt trying to flatten out the ruffles in it, "I see no harm in a little board game fun." I wanted to make the Cullens happy, if suffering through a few painful hours of dice and cards was what I needed to do, then so be it.

When I entered the room the atmosphere changed from carefree to walking on egg shells. No one wanted to say something that might upset the fragile little Bella who can't even keep herself from killing innocent little humans.

My eyes found Edward right away, then they almost instantly found the huge red gash going from his left ear to chin. So maybe he did go… I gasped and he locked eyes with me for a fraction of a second before looking away, but in that second I saw a look full of regret and uncryable tears.

I knew all too soon that this was not going to be a very fun game.

Situating myself on the floor in front of a large coffee table, where the game was to be played, I waited. People asked me which game I wanted to play and I merely shrugged. I hadn't done anything like this since I lived in Arizona and frankly, I wasn't sure how to handle it. Finally after much whining and complaining, the Cullens settled on, of course the _longest _game, monopoly.

The family then scrambled and fought over which character they got to move around the small cardboard playing map. I took what was left, a thimble. After a few failed attempts the Cullens caught on that I would not be making much small talk that evening, and continued on with their own naïve conversations that dealt with a whole lot of nothing.

Instead of talking I spent the whole time staring at Edward who was silently and discreetly wiping out every one else while speaking even less than me and avoiding my gaze the whole time. Eventually the game came down to Alice, who had the unfair advantage of foresight, and Edward, who could read his opponents mind.

As much as I didn't care how I did I also found the whole thing quite funny at how Alice was freaking out. She was yelling about how Edward must have been reading her mind and that she should just win by default, while Edward just smiled his crooked smile and ultimately won.

After the game Edward dismissed himself and I followed. Just as he was about to close the door to his room, which was furnished exactly like the one in Forks, I called out to him.

"What do you _want,_ Isabella?" His voice was hard, but unemotional like he was detaching himself from the situation.

"Well, I would like to talk." I spoke softly afraid of what Edward would do next.

"You didn't seem to want to earlier. What is of importance _now_?" Edward was being rude but I knew I deserved it. He still hadn't stepped out of the doorway his hand was still on the handle.

"Hmmm, maybe that huge gash on the side of your face." I wanted to walk to him, to kiss him; I wanted to be the old Bella.

"Laurent loves you Bella, you seem to love him." Edward stated simply.

"Just give me awhile to wrap my head around that." He shut his door on me.

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**A/N If you liked it or hated it please please please review!**

**I shall be forever grateful  
**


	12. Here and Back

**A/N REVIEW PLEASE. shorter than normal but i am already working on the next...**

**Disclaimer: NEWS FLASH I STILL DON'T OWN ANYTHING!  
**

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When Edward shut his door I didn't know what to do. I had no idea what he meant about me loving Laurent because I certainly didn't.

But, when I tried to knock on his door I got no response and I couldn't walk in because the door was locked. So I waited. I leaned against the hallway wall, across from his door. I slid down it slowly to sit.

Sitting there I had time to think about the last few days. I wondered where I would be right now if I chosen to go with Laurent, or if he and I hadn't even gotten in that stupid fight to begin with. When those didn't lead to any answers I started to think back even further. If my parents hadn't even split up, if my mom had stayed in Forks and I grew up there. That was a life that I almost couldn't imagine.

I never would have been with Edward, because I wouldn't have been the new kid and he would have had any reason to be interested in me, he wouldn't have had to sit next to me, and I probably would have never even learned about vampires.

There was really no reason and thinking thoughts like that because none of that happened, and I was here: in a hallway across from me, separated only by a door, was the person who I wanted to spend the rest of eternity with, and yet we seemed farther apart than ever.

"Edward?" I pleaded, I needed to see him, I needed him to tell me it was going to be all right.

… there was no response…

I continued to sit there but I tried to keep my mind off of the deeper thoughts and instead took up an interest in the specks on the ceiling. I formed shapes with them and I found it a good way to pass time, but then the shapes turned into faces and I was seeing Charlie, and René e, Mike, and then worse, his mom.

I closed my eyes as not to see them any more but it didn't help. I still saw them I my minds eye, I saw all of them, all of the people I had killed and all of the people pf my past, Jacob, the shop keeper in Austin.

I tried to think of who that first person I was who I drank but I couldn't even form a face. I remember that Laurent had brought him (or was it her?) to me, and I remember diving in; but I had done it so quickly, so instinctively, I had no idea who that was. It could have been someone I had known, or even _liked_.

What if it was a friend, or even family? No.

It couldn't have been Charlie; Laurent wouldn't have done that. Wait, of course he would. He would do just that. He would try and cut all my ties to Forks so I wouldn't have had any trouble staying away, but if that was the case than wouldn't he have told me.

Not if it hadn't come up, he barely had to tell me once not to go into town and I agreed. _SHIT! Please, please, please, please let it have been a stranger. _I begged myself.

I hadn't even noticed that I was dry sobbing until Edward finally burst out of his room.

"Bella?" His voice was frantic, "Bella? Bella? Are you all right?"

"I- I- th-think," I couldn't even get the words out.

"Shhh, shhh," He cooed in my ear. I was so lost in my shock that I didn't notice all of the Cullen's and their looks of pity come into the hall to see what the problem was.

"Isabella, tell me, you can tell me."

"I think- I think that, that I… drank Charlie." The last bit was spit out like it would cause an infection. The word were so repulsive. _I _was repulsive.

"Shhh, no, you wouldn't have done that." Edward said that but I could see the slightest bit of worry in his eyes.

"You don't know that!" It was a mix between a scream and a sob.

"You can't know that, I don't even know that!" my shoulders where shaking. "It- it makes sense. It is- ex-exactly something Laurent would have done."

Edward scowled at Laurent's name. "No, Bella, he wouldn't. He may be evil but he isn't intelligent to think up something like that."

I knew for a fact that that wasn't true. I had lived with Laurent for over six months; I knew more than anyone what he was capable of, and this was certainly something he could have done.

I didn't want to be the center of attention anymore though so I just nodded meekly, stood up, and went to my room, gently detaching myself from Edward in the process.

I knew I wouldn't be able to do anything until I knew that my Dad was safe and unharmed.

I knew that I had to go to Forks.

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**REVIEW PLEASE**


	13. Revelations

**A/n- guys i only got two reviews last time, and i am not going to lie I normally get a lot more and it was very disheartening ( spell). I really like this chapter, it is twice as long as others and it practically wrote itself. I don't think that I will be able to update as fast again though if i don't have the inspiration that ****y'alls reviews bring me so please please review.**

**Disclaimer: I officially disclaim owning any of this, not even this computer seeing as I am updating at a public library... **

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I felt guilty about once again sneaking out and abandoning the Cullen's, but what could I do? I had to know if my Dad was safe. If for some reason Charlie was _not_ alive… 

Well, I would _never_ forgive myself. So I wrote a letter and left it on my dresser. I lied

about where I was going but I could not have them chasing me down and stopping me.

Dear the Cullen Family,

I want desperately to be a part of the family that you have created here, but I feel that instead of being a participating member, because of my current ways, I am much more a burden. A burden is the last thing that I want to be to you all and your selflessness. Please understand that, do to this and my own personal reasons, I will be leaving this house to go to a secluded, uninhabited area to help wane myself from my current lifestyle. I believe that time alone is the only way I will be able to move on and I ask that you let me have my peace. I hope soon I will be able to return and be a really part of your family.

Thank you for all of your generosity,

Isabella Swan

Leaving that on the counter, where someone was sure to find it soon enough, I told them I was going to go outside to get some air.

And I _would _get air. I planned to make the whole coast to coast trip without a car. It could take me a while, but I planned to run a majority of it and find other means of transportation if I had to.

I liked to run; it was a form of serious therapy for me to be able to glide effortlessly across the earth as if I was flying. It was a release that I hadn't gotten to really enjoy since that last day with Laurent.

Laurent

. 

What was it that he wanted?

What had he said to Edward?

Thinking about Edward made my heart ache. I felt terrible for just up and leaving him again, let alone lying about where I was going. I wondered how long it would take for him to come after me, that is if he would; he could just be tired of my shit and stop caring. I _almost_ hoped that he would. I knew that I was a disappointment to him and the whole family, and it was nearly more than I could bear.

So I started my painstaking journey with that in mind, my heart heavy. The first day of the expedition was brutal. The whole time I was running I was hating myself. Time and time again the Cullen's had given me more than I could have imagined… and yet I could never express my gratitude; in fact, I usually never came close. There were many times on that day that I would come close to turning around and begging for forgiveness. I imagined the family finding the letter.

Esme would find it. She would be heartbroken that I didn't think that their help was enough. She would call for Carlisle. Then they would both stand their for a minute trying to think of what to do and how to tell dear, Edward.

No longer _my_ Edward.

But that would all be ruined when he walked by and happened to catch some of their thoughts. He would hear that it had something to do with me and come running in to see what the problem was. He wouldn't need to read their thoughts anymore though, because he would see the looks on their faces.

They would be horrible, distraught faces; not in worry of me anymore though, but in fear of how their son would react. Edward is known for doing stupid things in the heat of the moment, and they wouldn't want that, defiantly not. They would sit him down and be gentle saying it slowly, as if he couldn't speak English.

Edward would sit for a second, just a second, to let it sink in and then he would flip. Surely he would yell and possibly throw a chair or something. He would either leave, or scream at them for while; asking how they could have let something like this happen.

It would sound like Edward blamed them. But, on the inside, he would be blaming himself. Despite a few hold backs and some internal battles against myself I managed to make it to Forks in little under a week. Unfortunately I had to stop and eat so I wouldn't be hungry in my old home town, but what I chose was not on the Cullen's dietary plan.

I was going to try an animal but when I got up close I could not bring myself to bite into the vial creature, and I couldn't risk going to Forks hungry.

Despite the weather across the rest of the country, dependably, forks was wet and cold. Because it was cold I managed to get away with wearing a dark brown, long, and hooded trench coat. Since I looked so different anyone would have to get very close. I hoped that wouldn't be an issue I didn't plan on seeing anyone. I was just going to drop by the house and check in to make sure that the inhabitants were all alive and okay.

When I first got to Forks it was like a blow to the stomach, everything was so familiar, so safe. I remembered what it was like to live here; back when I was human and I thought that Edward and I were going to be together forever…and happy. I sighed aloud, as my burgundy eyes swept the landscape.

It was the middle of night, and Forks being Forks, (so quiet and innocent) I decided it would be safe for me to go downtown and look at the old shops. I had promised myself I wouldn't but I desperately wanted to relive some of the memories I had here.

The 'downtown' area was so small that it didn't even have streetlamps, but that was okay. I no longer needed them. I walked by a few familiar shops and faintly remembered a few things here and there.

I walked past a carpenter store that didn't mean anything to me, but then I double-taked. That store had been Mrs. Newtons flower shop. The guilt that I felt was unbelievable, it felt as if someone had taken a bat to my chest. I felt it ripping through my body as I looked into the windows of this new store.

I leaned against the window, sinking down, my eyes wide. I _killed_ Mrs. Newton. The fact that it wasn't actually me who had chose her meant nothing to me. I was the one who drank her, if I had had any self control at all, this carpenter store that was attempting to sell people poor quality chairs with tacky animal designs carved into them would never have been there.

I sat their wallowing in my self guilt for a while until I remembered why I had come to Forks in the first place. I stood up shakily and continued on my way to my old house. I had no problem finding my way back to that familiar abode.

As I neared the street I saw something that shocked me; there was a sign planted in my front yard it read: FOR SALE BY OWNER. There was a car in the front yard but it wasn't Charlie's cruiser, it was my mom's gold sedan. Why was my mom here? Why was the house for sale? Where was Charlie?

My fears where rehashed. _He's dead Bella, you killed him. You drained him dry, and left a shriveled up body for them to find. _The voice in my head assured me in a tone that made me breathless.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no! This wasn't happening! There _had_ to be another explanation. Maybe my mom had just come to visit, surely that was possible. I mean, seriously, the family could be torn up about me going missing so my mom came up here to help in the search for me…maybe.

I needed assurance.

I told myself if Edward could sneak into my house night after night unnoticed then surely so could I, and I could. I went in through the window that lead to my old room. What I found there was shocking. Nothing had been moved.

My room was exactly how I had left it, albeit cleaner, but still the same. My bed, where I had slept with Edward next to me so many times, was still there and made; my closet still held all of my old clothes; and even the keys to my truck, which I had not seen in the driveway, were sitting on my bed side table, gathering dust.

There was only one thing in my room that I did not recognize to have been mine: a copy of the local paper with a date that was two weeks after I had been turned.

The headline shocked me; I read and reread it over and over until I couldn't bear to look at anymore.

I leaped out my window and I ran, I didn't know where I was running to until I got there. Finding myself at the door of the unoccupied ex-Cullen house. I read the head Line and article again:

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** MISSING GIRLS FATHER FOUND DEAD: DID GRIEF FOR HIS MISSING DAUGHTER CAUSE IT?**

Chief Officer Charlie Swan, 45, was found dead of alcohol poisoning in his own home. Just two weeks ago he filed a missing persons report for his own daughter, Isabella Swan, 19, who has yet to be located. These past weeks have been filled with more crime and unnatural deaths than Forks generally sees in two years. After Isabella went missing, the local Trigonometry teacher, Mr. Varner's, body was found in the forest. The official cause of death is listed as loss of blood. Then owner of Fork's most popular Floral shop was reported missing as well, she yet to be found as well. Popular belief is that Chief Swan was driven to alcohol under all the personal and professional pressure that he was under, but the amount of alcohol in his system leads coroners to believe that it was a purposeful death.

Chief Swan was-

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I could not read anymore, it was all too much. I may not have been the direct cause of my fathers death but I was still the reason he was dead. I clutched the paper to my chest and attempted to rid myself of all emotion.

I lay there, on the porch, for days. My only way of knowing how long I had been there was the reliable rise and fall of the sun, and I was barely aware of that, only enough to know that I was still alive, or at least partly.

I was laying there in the middle of one night when I heard a voice, I knew the voice was familiar and I knew that I should respond but for some reason I was unable. I just sat there, knowing what I should say but not doing it. He, I knew it was a he by the tone, was calling my name and coming closer. I was slightly aware of his shadow getting closer and closer to me, until it was looming over me in the dark. I didn't even move when I felt the person, whoever it was, pull the newspaper out of my grasp.

I heard the person gasp; the story must have been a shock to them as well. The person stood their for a minute reading the paper, getting further than I could. Then the dark splotch that was their body reached to me and then scooped me up in their arms. This was all familiar, like I had lived it before.

Then I remembered the night in the forest when Edward had first left me.

Edward.

It hit me. That was who was carrying me; it was Edward, and he was saying something to me. I thought he was saying something to me but he was singing. It was beautiful, but I had to tell him.

"Edward?" I pleaded. I needed him to say something that would make everything okay again. Even if it was childish.

"Shhh, my love, everything will be okay."

"He's dead, Edward. My dad, he's dead."

"I know. I am sorry Bella, I am so sorry." Edward paused, then continued with what seemed like arduous effort, "I know that this hard to hear right now, but things will be okay. Eventually, everything will be okay." Edward looked down at me, his eyes were piercing arrows into mine. When I looked at him I knew that things would, in fact, be fine.

I knew it might take some time but I felt that we were finally on the right path for healing.

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**A/N please please review more this time I will owe you all FOREVER dun dun dunnnn**


	14. Time

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The only thing I was aware of on the way back was the constant presence of Edward. I was otherwise completely swallowed in grief for my dad, Charlie. He was gone. Though, I hadn't killed him, I still felt like it was all my fault. He had died and left behind me and Renee. The thought made me sick, all the families that I had left to deal with the sudden, unexpected death of their loved ones. All the families that had to go through what I was feeling right now, and it was all my fault, because I couldn't control myself.

I didn't even think about their families when killed them; to me they weren't even human: they were just food. It was my natural instincts to drink them. I never even thought about the person themselves. To me it was as natural as a cat killing a mouse.

I not only mourned for my dad on the way home but for all the other lives I had taken away. I was barely aware that we had gotten back home when I heard Esme say something had to me.

I looked up for the first time in hours "Huh?"

Esme looked down I could see the worry in her eyes and I felt overwhelming guilt, not only for worrying Esme, but for my _own_ poor mother, Renee. Not only had she lost Charlie, whom I am sure she harbored no ill will towards, but me. I had just disappeared without so much as a note. She probably thought I was dead.

"I am glad you are back home," Esme repeated herself, for my benefit.

"I am sorry." I said sullenly and got out of Edwards hold and excused my self to my room.

Once in my room, with the door shut behind me, I leaned against the wall and slid down it to fetal position. I was emotionally exhausted and I just wanted to curl up in a ball and never come out.

I didn't want to deal with the big, bad world around me, I didn't want to think about all of the innocent people I had murdered. I didn't want to think about my Dad, my Mom. I didn't want to think about how good they had all tasted, I didn't want to think about how I had abandoned Laurent after all he did so much for me. I didn't want to think about how much of a failure I was to the Cullen family, to Edward. I didn't want to think about any of these things and yet it was all I could think of. The thoughts engulfed me. I didn't deserve to live with the Cullens'. I didn't even deserve to live at _all. _Certainly _not_ eternally.

I had to do something, and at the moment I could only truly help one person. I was going to send a letter to my mom.

_Mom,_

_I love you. I am safe. I may never be able to see you again. Please don't worry. _

_-Isabella_

That was it. It had to be brief. There wasn't that much I could tell her anyway. I didn't want her to try to come find me but I wanted her to know that I was alive and safe. I wanted her to know that I loved her.

After I changed into a new outfit and washed my face I went downstairs to the Cullens; I had something to say to them. The stairs creaked on my way down letting everyone know that I was reemerging from my room. All eyes were on me as I entered the living room.

"Hi." Brilliant, "I-uh- there are a few things that I would like to say?" It came out as a question, I was asking for permission to continue to talk. Carlisle nodded.

"I'm sorry." I looked down, if I was going to this I would have to pretend that the floor was my audience, not the Cullens who were staring at me expectantly. "I never meant- this is not the way I would have hoped-I didn't want to become this." The floor was a harder audience than I thought it would be. "Laurent, he-he just showed up, and, and he really was going to kill me." I was wringing my hands, " I- well then he was he only person I had, and I- I just went with him; he was all I had; he was all I knew. I had to follow his ways it was the only thing I learned. I don't want to be this monster that I have become; this beast that you hear of in the books, but- but it is all I know…I am sorry and I am ready to change." That was it. I had gotten it out.

The floor seamed to have taken it pretty well but I couldn't look at the intended audience. Instead of looking at them, I turned on my heel and went back up to my room.

I didn't hear anything coming from downstairs for a long while, like they were sitting there not knowing what to say. Then I heard someone stand but Esme cut in "No, I'll go."

I braced myself for whatever she would say.

I was sitting on the futon that was directly in front of the door with my hands in my lap when she knocked and looked in. With just half her body through the door way she spoke softly, "Isabella may I come in?"

I nodded.

"May I sit?" Esme gestured to the seat to the left of me.

I nodded again.

She sat. "Bella," She started, "We love you, all of us. No one here is mad at you. The way you acted, what you have been through, you did the best you could. We all would have done the same in your situation."

I didn't think that, that was true but I didn't say anything.

"I am so happy that you are still with us."

I finally made eye contact with her, her eyes were full of earnest love and care.

"Thank you." My voice cracked when I finally spoke.

"I am going to leave you be, but I know someone who is dieing to come see how you are." Esme said with grin. "Send him in."

Almost as soon as it was said Edward was in my room and sitting on the other side of me.

Without a word Esme was up and out of the room. Edward shifted to face me and I moved my knees to the right a bit so I was facing him to, and for a moment we just sat there staring into each others eyes saying all the things we hadn't gotten a chance to say.

His words were the sounds that broke the silence, "Bella I love you so much."

Then he kissed me, a real kiss. The feeling of lips against mine was something that I had missed so much and I soaked up every thing. The sweet musky way he tasted, his still glorious smell, and the overwhelming love I felt for him.

I pulled away, "I love you too," and we went back to what we were doing.

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**A/N-Please REVIEW**


	15. Lynx!

_Author's brother's note - Due to my failure these two chapters (Lynx and Yes) were swaped, I apologize, it has been fixed._

A/N- HELLO ALL YOU LOVELY READERS TO WHICH I OWE ALL OF MY INSPIRATION AND COULD NEVER DO ANY OF THIS WITHOUT! For example one reviewer advised I use Jasper and I did, a bit, here. Guys this is the second to last chapter of this story, but I already have ideas for a sequel going through my mind. I would love to hear what all of ya'll think about that Idea. Right now as ya'll read this I am at camp and I had to go throught the horrible trouble of having to teach my brother how to use fan so that he could post this for me, but I would like yall all to thank my brother James and him being willing to get up and load this for me!!!! THANK YOU JAMES AND I AM SURE THAT I AM MISSING YOU RIGHT NOW .As always please, please, please read and review!!!!

Later than night I joined the Cullens for another night of board game fun, this time instead of monopoly we played three rounds of Clue. I never won but that was besides the point; I was hanging out with the Cullens like I used to before all things went wrong and I was having actual fun. It was a miracle.

A storm was brewing and Alice promised it was going to be a big one so we headed into the forest for a round of baseball. I wasn't quite sure how to play so I hung out in the rain and enjoyed watching them play. Edward knocked the ball way out and into the dark forest and Emmett ran as fast as he could but didn't get to it in time; with the bases loaded he had scored a home run. I jumped and cheered for him. That was my man.

But all good things must come to and end eventually and the sky cleared so we retired back to the house. It was there that Emmett spoke "I am starving."

As soon as he said it all eyes shot to me.

"Well I don't see why we couldn't go hunting." Carlisle deliberated. "Bella, would you like to go?"

"Oh-um, well-okay sure. Just-um- let me run up to my room really quick." And I did. I ran. Fast. Once I got to my room I just stood there, not doing anything just standing there getting myself ready. I was going to drink an animal and I was going to like it.

"Bella." I would have thought Edward, but it was Jasper.

"Oh, hey. I'll be down in just a minute. I have to-uh- I have to change my shoes." We both looked down at my feet I was already in my only pair of tennis shoes.

"Look if anyone here knows what you are going through here it is me. If you ever want to talk to someone you can come to me."

"Oh um thanks. I'll be down in a minute."

He stared down at me for a moment, when I knew he could see right through me, and turned on his heel down the stairs.

"Jasper wait?" I called at the last moment, he turned around again and came back towards me, "How do you do it? How do you resist the urge?"

"Bella you have seen me lose control I can't say this will help you right now, but when I feel myself urging the taste of human blood I try and imagine the life of any human and think about the hole that would be there if I killed them."

Still looking him in the eyes I thanked him and we headed down the stairs together.

We all ran into the forest for the hunting ground, apparently where we were going there was an abundance dear, but dear really wasn't what I wanted to eat. We all stood in a circle looking at each other waiting for one to make the first move when the smell of a wolf hit us, it was one of Alice's favorites and she took off. Edward had come towards me and put an arm protectively around my shoulder. He was going to help me do this.

"Just wait for it, Bella, when the right animal comes you'll feel it in your bones."

I stood there, and he stood next to me, as one by one every other member of the Cullen family found something they could sink their teeth into. I wanted to just go for a dear to make everyone happy and get it over with, but I could not, I was just not ready and the smell was still rather repulsing .

I saw that Edwards was starting to stir with anticipation and desire to catch his own meal and I was running out of patience with myself as well. How much longer would I have to deal with this. I was about to sacrifice and go for a large badger when I smelt it. The most glorious smell that ever existed outside of human blood ;I didn't know what it was ,but I ripped my feet out from the ground from which they had been standing for so long and ran. I stopped about 500 feet away from my prey and found it to be some sort of big cat creature. With large ears and tuffs of fur coming off of it's face. It was majestic, it was haunting, and it was mine.

I stalked it slowly getting closer, and waiting for the right moment to take it. Every foot closer the desire to just jump at it carelessly got harder and harder to refuse. Until the creature decided to take a drink in a pond and had its back turned towards me, I pounced. I leaped onto the cats back, it was almost the length of me with just my knees hanging off the cat. I sunk my teeth into the back of it's neck and the animal rolled over and knocked me off of its back. It then turned on me and dug its huge claws over my stomach. I cried in pain and distantly heard Edward yell and Carlisle voice saying something. Through the pain I continued to battle with my foe. I grabbed it's front claws and turned it over once again so that I was lying on its stomach and once again sank my teeth into the fur of the animal and I drank quickly and eagerly. It was delicious. I had not thought that an animal could come this close to a humans blood and yet be so different. I could practically taste the feral nature of the beast through it's delicious blood. I didn't stop until the animal was practically dry, when I did I rolled over onto my back and wiped my mouth with the back of my arm.

Edward ran over to me with a crooked grin and I could see that he was as happy with me as I was with my meal. His grin quickly turned to a concerned frown when he looked down at my ripped t-shirt and bleeding stomach. I had completely forgotten about my injury until then and I felt the pain all of a sudden. It was excruciating. The animals claws had been at least an inch long and had ripped away my flesh. I moaned in agony as Edward scooped me up in his arms to carry me back to the house.

At the house Carlisle set up to bandage me, as he put on the antiseptic he spoke "So a lynx, huh? It suites you."

"Huh?" Speaking hurt and I grimaced.

"The animal that you went after today, and apparently wet after you, was a Lynx ;a member of the cat family and very beautiful."

"A lynx huh?" Edward entered the room. "Well I'll have to hunt them all down for hurting my love."

I smiled, "It's just a scratch."

A/N- YAY YAY YAY please review


	16. Yes!

**Author's brother's note - Due to my failure these two chapters (Lynx and Yes) were swaped, I apologize, it has been fixed.**

**A/N If there was one person I would like to thank more than FISHFRIEND it would be YOU. That is right YOU. For reading, and hopefully reviewing ( wink wink if you haven't there is no time like the present wink wink) THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR STICKING WITH ME!!!!!!!!**

When I was all healed up Edward and I went for a walk on he forest path that I had ben to afraid to go on before.

It was a beautiful day and the sun shown gloriously through the trees. Edward and I walked hand in hand and talking about completely pointless things. We weren't worrying about anything ;purely enjoying each others company.

"Isabella I love you so completely."

"There is no way, Edward Anthony Cullen, that you love me anymore than I love you."

"I sincerely doubt that."

It was the first time in a long while that things seemed like they used to, Edward and I hanging out and dwelling in are full love for each other.

We were walking along when suddenly Edwards hand left mine and found my waist instead, pulling me close to him. His other hand went to cup my cheek. He stared at me as if he was expecting me to know all the answers to life's many questions. He then pulled me into a tight hug and he put his head over my shoulder as I rested my head on his sturdy chest. He inhaled deeply into my hair and spoke, "I can't believer I was ever able to let you go."

Then we both pulled our faces back and sank into a passionate kiss. It wasn't rushed, it was tender and soft, we knew that we would be together for the rest of eternity. Nothing, absolutely nothing was going to take us away from each other. It almost brought me to tears how much in love I was with him.

When he pulled away he stepped back have a foot but still kept his hands around my waist.

"Isabella, I could have never thought that I would have been able to find someone I loved so much, without you my life would still be and endless search for redemption, but if I am allowed to have you then I can't have been that bad. The extent of which I love you is immeasurable. I love every single thing about you, your laugh, your smile, you loving personality, your continuous klutzyness, I love everything. I want to and refuse to not, spend the rest forever with you. I know I have done this before but," he shifted down to one knee and my whole heart shifted. I hadn't know what to say last time but I did this, " Isabella Swan will you marry me and become Isabella Cullen with me forever?"

I looked him straight in the eye and knew that this had to be the best moment in my life, "Yes."

A/N TA DA MY STORY ONCE AGAIN THANK THANK THANK YOU


	17. Before we even got a chance

**AN- I dont really know what inspired me after a year to write fanfiction again, but I guess this story is going to go on.**

"Don't move." Alice was fuming; I had never seen her so angry before. "I told you that this would happen if you went on the balcony." My head was yanked hard to the left. "It is too moist out there, and now you have ruined three hours of hair preparation."

"Alice, the wedding is outside" I swiped her hands away and slowly swept back some of the fallen hair. "Besides, it doesn't matter. It's just us, and i need a breath of fresh air."

"You don't ever need to breath, you're a vampire, and this is important Bella." She sounded personally insulted that I would imply anything otherwise, "This is your only wedding day for eternity."

I sighed in submission and let Alice surround me in a cloud of hairspray. "Ok I saved the day, like always." She said satisfied, and she took a quick glance in the mirror, brushed her bangs out of her face. "I'm up, and you are soon."

Alice was my Maid of Honor and my only bridesmaid, I would have asked Rosalie but we need someone in the audience with Carlile reading the vows and Jasper as best man.

Soon I heard the wedding procession play and I knew that the time was coming. I was finally going to bind myself to Edward Cullen forever. I had never dreamt of anything so amazing as the idea of Edward and I for eternity. After everything we had been through, with him leaving, Laurent, and my everyday struggle to resist human blood, I almost thought I would never see this day, but here it was, and here was me letting the music run and getting lost in my thoughts.

I stumbled out the doors finally and onto the white carpet on the grass. Around me were lavish decorations, furniture, even a cake no one would eat, but I didn't see any of it. All I saw was my future husband at the other end of the isle staring right back at me. The walk to the front of the alter seemed like miles away and all I wanted was to be standing there with him, and married. I didnt need this fancy wedding or any of the grand traditions. I would have been satisfied getting married in court house if it meant I was Edward's forever.

Eventually I made it to the alter and took Edward's warm granite hands, locking eyes with him. I didn't really hear anything that was going on, I was too lost in topaz. But then I heard an all to familiar voice speak up when Carlile asked if there were any objections to the marriage.

I tore my eyes away from Edward's to see Laurent leaning against the entry hall. And then everything happened so fast. Laurnet dropped his lit zippo lighter and only then did the faint smell of kerosene hit my nostrils. Soon everything was engorged in flame and a large wall of fire split the wedding in two. I quickly pulled my hands out of Edward's to avoid being burnt. And then from behind me I saw something else that resembled fire, right before it hit me like a freight train.

Three seconds after that, a chain was wrapped around my arms and torso, and then I was being dragged, fast, across the grass. I screamed for Edward but I could hear nothing over the roar of the Cullen's house burning down. Grass, rocks, dirt, rocks, more dirt, then tree roots. Soon whoever was dragging me reached the forrest and I knew I was lost. I took beating after beating every time my abductor ran over a fallen tree.

Then they stopped but my body was in too much pain for me to open my eyes; I just heard voices.

"What are you doing." It was a male, deep, and distinctively vampire.

"Getting the bitch away from those stupid dirt drinkers." Victoria. My heart sank. Laurnet must have returned to her, tail between his legs when I left him.

"Pick her up, thats much faster." The male spoke again.

"And miss out on this pathetic entertainment, I don' think so." Her voice was like acid, it burnt my ears.

"Fine, I will." Then, feeling someone come near me, I pried my eyes open. It was the largest vampire I had seen outside of Emmet. I had never met him before, but I could help but appreciate that he would not be dragging me. He tossed me over his shoulder and we were running again.

After about another hour of running I was dropped against a tree. I tried to get up and run away, but with my arms bound, and my perpetual clumsiness I fell. The large vampire that had carried me lifted me back up and took the chains that were wrapped around me were then added to more chains and I was bound to a tree.

It was then that I saw Laurent. He saw me looking at him and gave me a sickly smile, got up from his crouch and walk towards me till his face was mere inches from mine, "Hello Bella. Do you remember when you said you would do anything for me?"

**AN-Review please its been a while**


	18. Hopeless

**AN- still dont know where this weird fanfiction desire is coming form. Maybe its because I've been grounded for two weeks and have two more to suffer through. You know what would help be get through this boring time.... REVIEWS**

Laurent's breath smelt provocatively of fresh human blood: my stomach churned. I turned my face to the left to avoid the torment of looking him in the eyes.

His hand grabbed my chin and roughly pulled my face straight, "What, nothing to say Isabella? Really, after all we went through you can't think of one thing to say to the man who spared you death?" His eyes were rabid and vengeful. "I mean, we kissed." The sarcasm dripped off the words: he was mocking me now. As if to say it was nothing significant to him.

"I remember you clearly, you won't let me forget. I'm just wondering what to say to someone with a death wish." I looked him squarely in his pathetic face.

"Well," He said dismissively of me "It's time we got going, we have a flight to catch and we cant stay here." He scanned the forest as he said this. "Leland, please take her to the cars."

I was once again in the hands of the giant vampire. He held me over his shoulder; I lifted my torso up to whisper near his ear, "You know Leland, the Cullens will find us, and they will kill you. Don't you know what happened to Victoria's boy toy when he tried to hurt me?"

The large man grunted, "I'm not afraid of that puny family. Besides we have the psychic."

My heart stopped. They had Alice? I looked around me, but most of what I could see was the back of Leland's massive body. I took a big whiff of air. I couldn't smell Alice anywhere.

"They took her a different rout, so to spread out your dear Cullen's."

At that point I was thrown into the back of a Infinity sedan before I even realized we had been running. I remained crumpled in the position I landed. Why? That was the thought that was running rampant through mind. Why wouldn't Laurent just leave me be? Why were these other people helping Victoria and Laurent with petty vengeance? Why hadn't Edward saved me yet?

It was sad to me, that still as a vampire I needed Edward to come save me. I thought that at least that would be different between the two of us. Yet here I was in the hands of bad guys with no idea where I was going or what they wanted, and my only hope was Edward.

The car whipped roughly around the corners, not smoothly like Edward had control. It seemed to me that the driver was in an anxious rush. Curious as to who was my chauffeur, I wormed myself into an upright sitting position. I could tell immediately, Laurent. Leland was packed into shotgun.

"Ah, Bella, you chose to join us up here finally." The his voice was sticky with false sweetness.

"What do you want Laurent?" I snapped, "Are you really that in love with me that you can't let me go. I'm flattered."

Laurent laughed, "Bella you overestimate yourself. The Volturi wanted you and, well I was more inclined to help even before they offered the reward." His confidence was evident.

My confidence was shattered. Edward had told me about the Volturi, and I remembered the picture on Carlile's wall clearly. They were the most powerful vampires in the world, who had an army of extremely qualified vampires. If anything could keep Edward from saving me, surely it was this group.

Laurent happily noticed the effect this news had on me. "Oh cheer up Isabella, I do love your smile, I wouldn't want to waste our last few hours together."

"Fuck you." I spit.

With Edward unable to read my thoughts and Alice unable to tell them their plans, I saw no way out of this situation. I feebly struggled against my binds. They wouldn't budge. They were tired over my elbows and avoided joint movement as well. Although I couldn't see my hands I knew their was a naked, bare place on my left hand where a ring should have been. At this moment Edward and I should have been married and enjoying each other's company on a flight to my mystery location edward had promised was magical. Now I was on my way to a flight, but it wasn't the right one, it was a flight that guaranteed detrimental results.

The car stopped, I pulled my slumed body off the door before Leland opened the door.

"You don't have to pick me up; I'll walk next to you."

Leland looked at me doubtfully and then threw me over his shoulder again. I kicked him hard in the gut this time and he dropped me. Unfortunately with my arms chained to my sides I had no control and I fell flat on my back. I made eye contact with Leland right before his boot made contact with my face, hard.

Then Leland looked at me calmly, bent down, and picked me up once again. I recognized from my brief moment of freedom on the pavement that we were on a tarmac and there was a jet not five-hundred feet away. Wasting no time, Leland got us there in under five seconds.

I was placed in a leather chair, not bound to anything. I looked around me, Laurent, Victoria, Leland, and two other unknown male vampires were sitting in the main cabin with me. Laurnet calmly stood up and came mere inches away from me. He leaned down so that his head was level with mine. "Isabella," He cooed, I felt his hand brush away a hair from my face then stroke my jawline. His eyes held an emotion I hadn't seen this whole time: abandonment. I briefly felt my old guilt for leaving him. But as soon as the look was on his face, it was gone, "You're not dumb enough to try anything with all of here." He sneered, and then he undid my chains around my arms.

He was right, I had no advantage here. Even if I did, I would still be stuck in an airplane. There was no use. Laurent had won. I saw no way that edward would be able to miraculously save the day this time.

**AN-please review**


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